Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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