we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
