I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
