the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
