You really coming over, don't trick.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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