I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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