Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
