Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
