just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
