Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
