he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
