The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
