He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
