Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
