is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
