did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
