You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
