ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
