why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
