I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
