currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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