About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
