There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We need to get me chipped asap
I touched a dick in church today
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
