Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
