I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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