I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
