wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We named our party play list daddy issues
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
