So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I would ride that face into the sunset
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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