thus making me awesome and them whores
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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