I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
