You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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