my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
