i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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