Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
