Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I deserve this hangover.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
