I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
