we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
