honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
