May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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