i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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