That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
