yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
