I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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