piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
