This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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