my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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