just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
