I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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