is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
