i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
