Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
